i miss something that my own mind created.
i feel like everytime i visit the sea, i yearn for it more. maybe it is the moment lived, or how i felt overall during it but everytime i miss something i also miss the sea.
during those weeks i've been plagued by the very consuming desire to create. create what you might ask, and well, i've been asking myself the same. ive tried oil pastels, watercolor, pen and pencil drawings and nothing is enough, nothing is good. even photography is difficult nowadays.
during childhood it felt like protection, an escape route or something like it. nowadays it feels like a distant dream; to think that there is life in the other side of the mountains. it feels impossible.
i know i should be in a happy moment in my life but just as my yearn for the sea that just grows bigger and bigger, my yearn to feel like a person also just grows bigger and bigger; until it consumes everything that i love and i am left with nothing but the memories of it. just like the sea.
i yearn for the sea to take me; i yearn for the ones that i know to love me; and i yearn for the ones that i yet ought to know to love me. i yearn for love.